Jazz:

I am sorry for everything you have been through.  You are not being overly sensitive to what your coworker had said.  I agree with Rena, the woman is an idiot.  Unfortunately there are a lot of people who say the dumbest things.  I am not so sure it is deliberatly being cruel so much as just plain ignorance.  I too have had comments that forced me to bite my tongue from one of my bosses.  He just doesn't think about what he is saying.  Here are two examples:  1) when I had my lumpectomy he came into my office and told me that he and his wife were talking.  She couldn't understand why I would be off of work for two weeks.  When I asked him why she couldn't understand it, did she think it was too short or too long, the response was "well she said it's not like you are having a mastectomy". Well two month later I was having the mastectomy.  2) People who get sick are being selfish.  They are looking for someone to take care of them.  When I picked my jaw up, I asked for him to explain that comment.  I asked him "do you think I would want this deliberately just to have someone take care of me?" He explained further that his comment is more for people who do not take care of themselves and won't follow doctor's orders.

This is just some of the things that I deal with on a daily basis.  I have found myself educating him along the way as he has not known anyone who had breast cancer and what is involved.  I am still trying to work on his comments.

As far as your coworkers, ignore them if you can or educate them if the know what is going on with you.  Share whatever information that you choose to.  People are entitled to their opinions regardless of how we feel about them or it.  It would be nice if the mouth and brain are on the same wavelength at the same time but again that doesn't happen.  Just look at politians, they are a good example.

Good luck with everything.  I wish you well.

Tina    
dx 2/1/11 DCIS
Lumpectomy 2/27 results DCIS/LCIS Stage 0 ER+ PR+
Bi-lateral Mastectomy 4/26 with expanders 
6/3 Surgery to remove contaminated expander due to infection.
7/22/11 Surgery to reinsert the expander. 
10/11/2011 Surgery to replace tissue expanders with implants. 
 

I have never really posted here. I was diagnosed a year ago November 8. I have tried to post a new question but it will not let me does anyone have any helpful tips. I only seem to be able to reply to a message that is already here.

Hi Mich,

If you look to the top left side of the main introduce yourself page you'll see a box to start a new thread, posting the link here -
http://apps.komen.org/Forums/tt.aspx?forumid=41

Good luck and let me know if you need any more help on anything!

Tricia Keegan...From Ireland Dx July '05 IDC 3/9 nodes pos..triple positive..a/c x 4..Taxol/herceptin x 12
Herceptin 1yr ..rads x35 oophorectomy Aug '06
Currently taking Arimidex /Zometa 1 x yearly
Carepage- survivortricia

I have tried that and nothing happens when I click on that is a box supposed to pop up? I am probably not posting these questions in the right place but would just love to figure this out.

Jazz - sorry about the issues with your double bi-lateral mastectomy.  Wow not like 1 was not enough right.  Let me just say there are options.  You do NOT need reconstruction, unless YOU chose it.  I am also not eligible for reconstruction and have accepted it just fine.  My surgeon actually does not want me to get fitted for my real prostetics until next summer.  (Had my mastectomy July 28, 2011).  So in the meantime, I usually don't wear anything but a tank top.  But, on those days where I want to feel more feminine, I get to select from a B cup filler or C cup filler.  My choice.  And beleive me, I make it a choice and a big deal.  I tell my husband, I feel like a C cup today.  I actually even have a D cup but never use it.  Was never a D cup and feel like I am a Dolly Parton want-a-be when I put them in.  LOL  Bottom line, don't let your mastectomy control your life.  You control your mastectomy.  (Or at least how you feel about them).  As for the breathing and range of motion, focus on that.  And as for the co-worker and her comments, you can come up with a great come back for her that would really make her look stupid.  Ask her if she is where she is today because of her boobs?  And then proceed to ask her how they made her get where she is today.  Bet she will turn red in face and back off.  What an idiot like others said.  I had a co-worker ask me when I told him I had BC, was I going to make it.  My response to him was " that is the plan"  He was speechless. 

Take care - prayers sending your way to hopefully help you with the breathing.  I know that must be difficult.

Sue K
Invasive Ductal Carcinona
Diagnosed 7/1/2011
Stage III Grade 2
Tumor Size 6cm
2+/18 nodes
ER+/PR+
HER2 Negative
7/28/2011 - Right Modified Mastectomy w/ lymph nodes removed.  Left Prophylactic Mastectomy
Not a candidate for reconstructive surgery. 
Chemo 5 out 8 completed.
Radiation completed.
Lymphedema and scar tissue issues

Hello.  My name is Lynn.  I was diagnosed with breast cancer a week after my 48th birthday, which was the beginning of September.  I had a few small tumors in my right breast.  I had biopsies done and all were cancer.  After I got past the initial shock and obtained a second opinion, I decided to have both breasts removed.  That disfigurement in itself is hard enough to take.  What to do from here is even harder.  They found a very minute amount of cancer in 1 of 4 lymphnodes.  The surgeon thinks she got it all, but says she can't be sure.  I have no family history of this and I am still in shock and extremely terrified.  In fact, my life has become thoughts of terror and death always lurking in the background. 
 
At first, the oncologyst recommended chemo.  There's no way I'm gonna do that.  I'm just as terrified of that as I am of the cancer.  Now they're recommending tamoxifin (sp?).  I had a partial hysterectomy a while back, so I won't get uterin cancer from it, but I've been smoking for 32 years and my risk for stroke and/or heart attack is already there.  I know this drug increases that risk.  The CTCA told me that based on the estrogen levels of the tumor (the largest was 1.5 cm I believe), my chance of recurrence, doing nothing, is 15 to 20 percent.  With tamoxifin, it goes down to 8%.  I might be nuts, but I think that having an 80-85% chance of nothing recurring is pretty good odds and I don't know that it's worth the gamble of taking the drug.  I'd have more of a chance of developing cancer than I have of it coming back, according to the statistics I've been reading.
 
I'm having a real problem making a decision I can live with about this.  I am working on quitting smoking, but I'm not gonna lie, it's harder now than it would have been had I tried to do this before now.  If I take the tamoxifin and have a stroke, the effects of that are irreversible.  On top of that, there is still a chance of recurring cancer even if I do take it.  Taking the drug, I now have even more to worry about. 
 
There are no guarantees one way or the other, no matter what I do.  The medical profession is struggling with this as much as their patients are from what I can see.  They only have one way to treat cancer at this point and that's by poisoning the cancer, which also poisons the patient.  Doctors have no choice but to use very few cure-all on everybody, because that's all the knowledge they have availalbe to them.  However, every person is biologically unique and everyone is going to react differently to whichever treatment they take and the stakes are high.    It feels to me like I'm playing Russian roulette with my life.  Which is the least of the evils?  Which way do I go?
 
For right now, I'm concentrating on the smoking issue and also my diet.  I know there are foods and supplements which kill cancer cells, but there again, is that going to be enough?  The worst part about this entire situation is that no matter which way it goes, I'll never know if I made the wrong choice until/if something awful happens.  They told me if the cancer comes back, it will take my life.  I'll always question whether or not taking the drug (or not taking it) made any bit of difference because it probably doesn't for some people.  Nobody knows who's going to survive this and who's not and it is absolutely terrifying beyond belief.  I feel like I'm in the middle of bad nightmare that I'm never going to wake up from.  Cancer has already taken my life in it's own way.  I'm disfigured, I'm scared every day, I don't sleep well anymore and my stress level is out of control.  I take the generic form of Welbutrin for nerves as well as smoking, but reality is that nothing can shut it off or make it go away.  I'm sure everybody who gets this or any other deadly disease goes through this brutal terror. 
 
Treatment works for some people, it doesn't for others and nobody has any way to know which category they fall into.  Does anybody take their chances with diet, exercise, meditation, etc.  and survive?  I don't know about anybody else, but I revert back to square one every time I see a doctor....I start doing better, then I go see my surgeon for a follow up, as well as consultation for treatment options, and I turn back into an inconsolable, frightened child, just like I was when I first found out I had the disease.  This is no way to live.

Dear Lynne,  I totally understand the fear you are feeling because that was me from Feb 1, 2011 until August of this year.  I was diagnosed on 2-1-11 and almost completely paralyzed by that diagnosis.  It was like I was in a bad dream or something.  I had a double masectomy and then went thru 4 rounds of chemo.  I was told w/o chemo, my chances of reoccurence were 14%.  Its totally a personal choice with the chemo so I understand if you don't feel comfortable with having chemo.  I do have to say, now that it is over, it wasn't as bad as I thought.  There are a lot of medicines available to help with the side effects.  The worst part of having chemo at this point is I am still w/o hair.  Patience!
 
What I wanted to share with you in terms of the fear and terror you feel,  it does get better.  From Feb thru July, I wasn't sleeping well and was always tense and anxious.  I even suffered from depression during June and July.  However, with the help of prayer, antidepressants, and SLEEP, I feel like myself again for the most part.  I know longer feel like cancer/death are new members of our family.  Every once in a while, the fear will well up in me but it happens less and less often, and doesn't last as long.
 
You have to give yourself time.  This diagnosis is too new to you yet.  In time, you will gain some confidence over it- even despite all the confusion of how to treat the cancer.  Just make sure you have a good relationship with your oncologist so that you can discuss your questions with him/her.
 
I hope this helps.
 
Maryla
DX 2-1-11, IDC, Double Masectomy w/implants, 4 rounds chemo ended 5-30-11, Tamoxifen started 7-11.  ONCO#21 
 

Hi Lynn. I just want to welcome you, though I don't know if I can be much help. I liked what maryla said, and because she was diagnosed not long ago, she can relate well to what you're going through. All I can say is this: The biggest thing I had to come to terms with was the fact that there are no 100-percent guarantees. I was diagnosed at age 37 with an aggressive cancer (triple negative) and 22 positive lymph nodes. I think that my doctors didn't expect good results for me, but here I am 25 years later.  I'm not sure what I would do in your situation. In a sense, the decisions were made for me because 25 years ago, we knew so much less and had fewer treatment options--and because my cancer was much more advanced. If I were in your situation today, if I felt that I didn't have adequate information to make my choice,  I would write out all the options presented to me and see another oncologist for a second opinion. I know that's probably the last thing you want to do--see more doctors. If, however, I did feel that I had all the info I need, but just couldn't sort it all out, I would work on clearing my brain by seeing a counselor or therapist and just unloading all of the feelings, fears, uncertainties to someone who is objective and professional. My husband and I call it "having a session." When you sit with all these intense feelings sort of "cluttering" your brain, it's extremely hard to make decisions. When you express the feelings and thoughts to someone, it leaves you some room to think more clearly. Wishing you the best, Lynn.

Rena age 63 California Central Coast
26-year survivor
BRCA2-positive
Dx 1986 IDC ER/PR negative 22 positive lymph nodes
CMFVP chemo weekly for one year, 7 weeks radiation
October 2007: New chassis and spark plugs!

Hi Lynn,

While its true chemo does not work for everyone, no one knows until a major recurrance as to whether it has or not, but without it we can be fairly certain there's a very high risk of it returning.

I had an aggressive cancer with three nodes positive and was terrified of chemo too, but more terrified of leaving my daughters and dying of this disease way too soon and I also have been a smoker all my life!  I decided to go ahead and not only had the most aggressive of chemo drugs but also a year of herceptin which is also damaging to the heart plus rads and still take arimidex.  I have no way of knowing which of these tx's if any have worked for me, but in the past the prognosis for my type of bc was one year and hopefully I'll be seven years out next summer so think one of those is to thank for that extra time.

You must choose whats right for you of course and I respect that, but you almost sound like you're trying to talk yourself out of treatment you know you need to have and justify it. If so, go with your gut reaction because otherwise you'll regret it, and honestly, none of it was as bad as I had feared.

Tricia Keegan...From Ireland Dx July '05 IDC 3/9 nodes pos..triple positive..a/c x 4..Taxol/herceptin x 12
Herceptin 1yr ..rads x35 oophorectomy Aug '06
Currently taking Arimidex /Zometa 1 x yearly
Carepage- survivortricia

well, I'm here. I was diagnosed 11/15 with DCIS. I dont know stage or grade or much of anything else. The Path report from the biopsiy says the tumor is both Estrogen and Progestroene positive at 95% +. I had a lumpectomy on Monday the 12th  and now my brest is sloshing when I walk like water in bottle being shaked up. My Partner can hear it when I walk accoss the room.

When the doctor talked to me after the lumpectomy his bright up beat mood had changed, told me that everything would be revealed when the final Path report comes in, which should Next Monday the 19th

It just pisses me off, I;m 60 years old, with heart disease, diabeties, serve High blood pressure and, kidney disease and oh yeah Cushing;s disease. Now Breast Cancer, do I have a right to be pissed?

Funny, I not worried about dying from the cancer, It is one more ugly time concuming shitty thing I have to deal with. And I am tired.

Shirley
DX 11/15/11 with DCIS
Lumpectomy 12/12/11