Triple Negative-How are you doing?

Change Page: << < ..21222324252627282930.. > | Showing page 21 of 68, messages 401 to 420 of 1341
Author Message
Rena
  • Total Posts : 6649
  • Reward points : 12660
  • Joined: 1/1/2005
  • Location: California
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:39 PM
yippee! Yeah, Deborah! Congratulations! I'm glad you marked the occasion with your mom at your side! Have a wonderful weekend. Love, Rena
Rena age 66 California Central Coast
29-year survivor
BRCA2-positive
Dx 1986 IDC ER/PR negative 22 positive lymph nodes
CMFVP chemo weekly for one year, 7 weeks radiation
October 2007: New chassis and spark plugs!

Sadie Rose
  • Total Posts : 579
  • Reward points : 10345
  • Joined: 7/5/2010
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:41 PM
 
Hi Deborah, Kathy, Coco, Marylou, Lisa, Pinkgirl and Everyone Else,


Just wanted to check in and see how everybody is doing. I hope we can keep this thread really going. I miss checking in on the Mets gang, but I understand their need to have their own space. I look forward to getting to know everyone here more. I want to welcome all of you new to the thread. We are glad you found us.


I hope you all have a peaceful and restful evening.


Warmly,
Sadie

karey
  • Total Posts : 557
  • Reward points : 11690
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Wednesday, October 22, 2008 9:53 PM
I asked him about the cloning. He said he didn't think so but he'd consider doing training.

Okay, here's some more happy news. My son got engaged today and we are delighted as we just love her. He is our one and only so we are very delighted that we may finally be getting a daughter
Kathy
Diagnosed at age 47
DX: 12/13/07 IDC Stage IIa Grade 3 3.5 cm TN
Lumpectomy 1/30/08 SNB neg
Chemo-2/29/08: 4 A/C 4 Taxol-Done 6/6/08! NED!
33 Rads 7/7/08-8/20/08 Done!
12/10/09 Now Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Survivor!

VeeCamm
  • Total Posts : 2
  • Reward points : 0
  • Joined: 10/23/2008
Daughter of a new patient - Thursday, October 23, 2008 2:02 AM
Hi, everyone. My name is Victoria and I live in the suburbs of Denver.
 
My mom, who just turned 66, was diagnosed with triple-negative breast cancer at the beginning of the month. On Wednesday, she had a mastectomy and will be starting chemo in November.
 
What can I do to help my mom through this post-surgical time? I expect she will be grieving for the loss of her breast, just as one would grieve after losing a loved one or another body part. Please share any ideas you have.
 
Also, my parents have been married for nearly 43 years and love each other very much, but my dad is not the most verbal or demonstrative person. (He is recovering from knee-replacement surgery that he had at the beginning of the month, so he's got some of his own problems right now, too.)
 
I don't expect him to change his personality, but I'd like to here from you experienced ladies about some of the things that he could say or do to help my mom feel better about herself as she recovers from her mastectomy and undergoes treatment.
 
Sorry if I'm asking too much in my first posting to this forum. I'm trying to do everything I can to help my mom through this challenge (while my sister is "coaching" my dad through his physical therapy and his own recovery.)
 
Thanks!
Victoria

DJW
  • Total Posts : 942
  • Reward points : 6180
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Thursday, October 23, 2008 7:24 AM
Vee,

We are always sorry to hear of another sister with BC and are here to support you and your family during this challenging time. You have come to the right place!

The best thing your father can do is reassure her that she is still beautiful and that he loves her. He doesn't have to necessarily say this, but it's important that he show this. He can do this by helping her with her drains or to help bathe her if your mother wants this. For sure, he needs to be demonstrative to her. It's bad enough to deal with an aging body, but to loose a breast is even worse. He needs to reassure her if not verbally, but at least physically, that he loves her, still sees her as beautiful, and will always be there for her.

I'm divorced, so didn't get this kind of attention, but my mother has been there for me. When I finally went out in public, the men I know kept telling me how great I looked. This helped.

Let us know what else you need from us. You obviously have studied her path report if you know she is Triple Negative. Is there anything else you'd like us to help you understand?

You are a terrific daughter to be so proactive with your mother's health. Having two parents with health problems is really challenging. They must have raised you and your sister well for you each to be stepping in to care for them. Tell your mom and dad that I told you this!!

Stay in touch,


Deborah, Albuquerque, 59, 5 year survivor!!

-Diagnosis: IDC & DCIS, Stage IIb, Grade 3, Triple Negative (3/19/08)
-No family history, BRCA 1&2 neg (Jun 08)
-A/C (4 DD Apr - Jun 08), Taxol (4 Wkly Jul-Aug 08), Taxol (2 DD Oct 08)
-Modified radical mastectomy with immediate saline implant (8/19/08), 3/12 nodes positive 
-NED!!! (Nov 08)

lesanna
  • Total Posts : 6
  • Reward points : 0
  • Joined: 9/20/2008
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 7:59 AM
I have been diagnosed with triple negative, 53 years old, was pre-menopausal, though I hope not now, and this forum is very helpful.  I have just finished heavy duty TAC chemo for 6 sessions.  Fortunately, I finished and on time, inspite of a lot of complications- infection due to low blood count, Deep Vein Thrombitis, and shingles caught early plus the usual pesky complaints.  The good news is that if you are vigilent about symptoms and catch them early there is medicine to deal with all of these that is successful.  I now have 33 doses of radiation coming up.  I read that people have had bone scans.  That has never been offered to me.  My biggest campaign now  is to make getting MRIs and Ultrasounds easier for individuals with dense breasts when mammograms do not pick up the tumers.  I had yearly mammograms that did not pick up on the tumer.  It was found during a gynecological exam.  What upset me is all the mammogram reports, which I did not see, stated the mammogram was not entirely conclusive due to dense breast material.
 
Diagnosed May 2008
Lumpectomy
Tumer:  3.1 cm.
O node or margin involvement
Stage 2A

Rena
  • Total Posts : 6649
  • Reward points : 12660
  • Joined: 1/1/2005
  • Location: California
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 10:39 AM
Good morning everyone. Victoria, I'm sorry about your mother. Deborah gave you excellent advice. Even if your dad is not the most demonstrative person, little bits of special attention will make your mom feel reassured. I think it's important to balance being upbeat with your mom with letting her have her fears. She'll have her good days and her bad days. Just knowing that you're there will be a great support to her.

Lesanna, congratulations on completing chemo. I'm sorry you had so many setbacks--the women on the Sound Off board would benefit from your insights into how to catch problems and treat them early, before they take hold. I respect your mission to make it easier to get MRIs and ultrasounds. The technology is getting better all the time, but too many cancers are still missed. I think another big problem is not the mammograms themselves, but who is reading them. A friend from these boards, Tricia in Ireland, told me about a radiologist at her hospital who, it finally came out, had been misreading mammograms for years. They went back and reexamined the films and found a number of obvious tumors that the women had not been told about. I know it's hard to get what we want all the time, but I've become a bit pushier about finding out how experienced the radiologist is at reading the tests. I don't get mammograms anymore--no breast tissue--but I recently had a coronary artery scan, and I asked a lot of questions about the radiologist's experience because it's a relatively new test. If we're not our own advocates, who will be? Good luck with the radiation.

Rena
Rena age 66 California Central Coast
29-year survivor
BRCA2-positive
Dx 1986 IDC ER/PR negative 22 positive lymph nodes
CMFVP chemo weekly for one year, 7 weeks radiation
October 2007: New chassis and spark plugs!

lesanna
  • Total Posts : 6
  • Reward points : 0
  • Joined: 9/20/2008
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 11:23 AM
Hi Ruth Anne,
 
When my surgeon did the ultrasound he yelled with great consternation, "They didn't find this on a mammogram!"  I should have known at that point it was cancer.  He later suggested since the tumer was on the edge of the breast, they just did not get it into the picture, so it could be the technician's problem as well, but at a minimum, people should ask about their reports.  I was always so happy about them letting me go right home and the post card in the mail, I did not enquire further.  I did not know to enquire further.  I had no idea. Also, I do not know what went to my primary care providers and if they know that there might be a need for further follow-up.  My oncologist says there is new guidance on this- that every three years there ought to be a MRI for women with dense or large breasts.  However, she said the insurance companies are still a problem and require the mammogram first.
 
Thanks for the input, because that is helpful to know there might be more to this.  I am now going to what is considered the best imaging center in town. I hope when I lose the weight I am supposed to lose, it will be easier and since I think I am now menopausal. the density problem will decrease.  
 

Lisa11388
  • Total Posts : 425
  • Reward points : 5135
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 3:19 PM
Lesanna,
A similar thing happened to me.  I guess I was living in an ignorance is bliss sort of state.  I always got my reports back and all I saw was that it said everything was ok.  I didnt know what the bi-rad numbers meant.  I even got an all clear letter with the last mammo, which was two weeks before I found the lump. It was also not felt by my gyno the same day as the mammo.  After I was dx and was seeing a surgeon, we were able to see the tumor on the mammo and when compared to the previous year, it was there also.  Two surgeons told me that it was not unusual for it to be missed. I now go to a different place for my mammos which has more advanced equipment.
Lisa Long
Central Illinois
dx 8-29-05 age 43
mast & lat flap 9-30-05
triple neg brca neg
4.5 cm node neg
6 a/c followed by 5 taxol 10/05-3/06
28 rads 5/06-6/06
Currently NED

lesanna
  • Total Posts : 6
  • Reward points : 0
  • Joined: 9/20/2008
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 4:27 PM
Lisa,
 
Thanks for the reply.  I think the mammogram information is good to know for survivers who have to get tested for re-occurence.  I see it has been three years since you were diagnosed.  Congratulations.  I had 6 sessions of taxotere and AC.  It was a little rough taking all at once. But I see you had both drugs, too.   
 
Leslie

Sadie Rose
  • Total Posts : 579
  • Reward points : 10345
  • Joined: 7/5/2010
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 8:25 PM

My oncologist believes anyone with dense breast tissue should have an MRI.
 
I had a similar experience.  I had a mammogram and received my postcard saying all was normal.  A week later I discovered a very large lump.  It had to have been there all along.  My daughter is now going to have MRI's as well as a mammogram.  We started her before the typical age to start.
 
She's nursing two little babies and it is time for her mammogram.  She doesn't know if they do them when you are nursing.  I don't know that either.  Has anyone had a mammogram while nursing?
 
Sadie
 
 
 
 
 
 

Lisa11388
  • Total Posts : 425
  • Reward points : 5135
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 8:44 PM
Sadie,
I have heard that triple negative tumors appear from nowhere, that they are just there all of the sudden.  I feel pretty confident that is how mine was, even though you could see a spot on the previous years mammo, there was no palpable lump until after the next mammo.  It was almost like the mammo sqeezed the tumor to the surface or something.  I know that sounds stupid, but it wasnt there before.  I had my yearly gyno check right before the mammo and he didnt feel it either.
 
How many of us feel that their tumor just appeared from nowhere?
Lisa Long
Central Illinois
dx 8-29-05 age 43
mast & lat flap 9-30-05
triple neg brca neg
4.5 cm node neg
6 a/c followed by 5 taxol 10/05-3/06
28 rads 5/06-6/06
Currently NED

Sadie Rose
  • Total Posts : 579
  • Reward points : 10345
  • Joined: 7/5/2010
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:21 PM
Lisa,
 
When I went to my first surgeon he looked at my mammogram and said the tumor could be seen, but it was at the 12:00 position.  The person who read my mammogram just missed it. 
 
I was really careful to have an appointment with my gynocologist each year and I had a mammogram each year.  My mother had breast cancer so I was trying to be proactive. 
 
I really wonder how often this happens. Is it common? 
 
Sadie

Rena
  • Total Posts : 6649
  • Reward points : 12660
  • Joined: 1/1/2005
  • Location: California
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:34 PM
Lisa, I felt that my tumor seemed to appear very suddenly, too. I was small-breasted, and one day, there it was, close to the surface. I was 37 and that was 1986, so I'd never had a mammogram. I wish there were some rhyme or reason to this whole thing. You can ask 100 different women about their symptoms and how their cancer was found and get 100 different answers. It's frustrating. Rena
Rena age 66 California Central Coast
29-year survivor
BRCA2-positive
Dx 1986 IDC ER/PR negative 22 positive lymph nodes
CMFVP chemo weekly for one year, 7 weeks radiation
October 2007: New chassis and spark plugs!

karey
  • Total Posts : 557
  • Reward points : 11690
RE: Triple Negative-How are you doing? - Thursday, October 23, 2008 11:03 PM
I'd had mammograms before as my my dad's mom got breast cancer when she was 37 and my dad got colon cancer when he was 40. They didn't like that early onset piece. Since I had to start having colonoscopies when I was 30, I guess they decided to just start the mammos too. So, they had plenty of previous data on me.

I'd never had an abnormal mammogram. I didn't have "lumpy" breasts. I'd never had a cyst or anything like that. I passed the age when my dad and his mother contracted cancer so I was starting to feel home=free. In fact, my colon exams had been changed from every three years to every five years because they just weren't finding even the tiniest polyp.

A year and a half before, I had a normal mammogram. My pcp didn't detect anything when she did an exam in March 2008. I couldn't feel it. So, to learn that I had a tumor on December 3, 2006 was quite a shock. I was even more shocked when I found out it was a 3.5 cm. Mine was also in the 12:00 position. I was told my breasts are less dense now so it probably was just undetected but still...it makes you wonder.
Kathy
Diagnosed at age 47
DX: 12/13/07 IDC Stage IIa Grade 3 3.5 cm TN
Lumpectomy 1/30/08 SNB neg
Chemo-2/29/08: 4 A/C 4 Taxol-Done 6/6/08! NED!
33 Rads 7/7/08-8/20/08 Done!
12/10/09 Now Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Survivor!

VeeCamm
  • Total Posts : 2
  • Reward points : 0
  • Joined: 10/23/2008
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Friday, October 24, 2008 12:20 AM
Thanks, Deborah and Rena, for your help. I will pass along your advice to my dad.
 
What, if anything, can I do to help my mom prepare for that moment when she first sees her chest?
 
I'm expecting tears, and I would never try to deny her her emotions. And I don't expect her to have one bad moment or even one bad day; I know there will be good and bad days throughout this process. But I'm guessing -- please tell me if I'm wrong -- this day will be one of the worst.
 
Thanks,
Victoria

Rena
  • Total Posts : 6649
  • Reward points : 12660
  • Joined: 1/1/2005
  • Location: California
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Friday, October 24, 2008 12:40 AM
Victoria, everyone is different and reacts differently. There are some women who can't bear to look at their chest and are very disturbed by it even years afterward. There are others, like me, who are very curious to see what they look like. I remember trying to imagine how they could possibly "lop off" my breast--what a mess I would be afterwards. I also remember looking at myself and thinking, "Wow, it's so neat and clean looking." The scar was surprisingly narrow, and I just had a flat space instead of a breast. It was hard, but it wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Also, for many women (myself included), the relief of having that tumor gone outweighs everything. Sometimes the reaction to the loss of a breast is delayed because of that. I don't know how your mom will react. I think she just has to have her feelings, and all the advice about loving her and making her feel special and beautiful should help here, too. Maybe you can help her wash and fix her hair after she comes home and when the time is right--after she's done some healing--maybe you can help her pick out something pretty to wear. You know your mom, and you'll be able to figure out how best to help her. Take care. Rena
Rena age 66 California Central Coast
29-year survivor
BRCA2-positive
Dx 1986 IDC ER/PR negative 22 positive lymph nodes
CMFVP chemo weekly for one year, 7 weeks radiation
October 2007: New chassis and spark plugs!

karey
  • Total Posts : 557
  • Reward points : 11690
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Friday, October 24, 2008 7:04 AM
VeeCamm,

I csn't give advice on the mastectomy, as I did not have one but even a lumpectomy can make a woman feel very awkward amd self-conscious.
However, I was thinking about how my "undemonstrative" husband of 27 years reacted and helped me through my surgery, chemo and radiation and the present.

While cancer obviously can be very difficult on a marriage, it can also bind and strengthen a marriage in an amazing way. If your parents have a strong and loving marriage after all of these years, chances are your mom is able to see all those quiet little clues which tell her how much he loves her. I know I can see them in my own husband.

For example, he went with me to every appointment except for one chemo when he had to be out of town. When he knew he had no choice but to be gone, he took the initiative to arrange for someone to take me, check on me, stay with me until he got back, etc. A week before he went, I was touched by the fact that he asked a few friends at church to check up on me as well right before my chemo. He wasn't verbally saying "I love you." when he did all of this but he certainly was showing me that I was his number one priority and he was in this with me and he wasn't going any where.

To tell you the truth, anyone can order flowers, give you candy and babble words. Putting those words into action is another story.

Every woman is different of course. Some want to be left alone, I suppose and in that case he needs to be very respectful of her feelings. I just know that I felt very vulnerable. In my case that was during chemo in particular. I remember snapping at my husband once "This isn't the gig you signed up for!" He counteracted with "This is exactly the gig I signed up for. This is the one you're in isn't it?" That spoke volumes to me. He wasn't doing things because he felt sorry for me or felt obligated to do it. He did those things because he loved me.

BTW, it is not unusual for cancer survivors to lash out at their spouse by saying things they don't really mean. Fear makes you do funny things and the feeling that your spouse would be better off just moving on with their life can be very overwhelming at times. Cancer is hard enough for you to deal with and in some way you want to protect your spouse from it by telling them to run or trying to push them away from it. I was just on the phone with a cousin a couple of weeks ago whose husband is stage 4. They just found out about it a couple of months ago. He'd been getting bad headaches and they discovered cancer is everywhere. He's 42. Anyways, she called me up crying because he had called her from the hospital and abruptly told her he wanted a divorce because she'd be better off. I had to calm her down and help her understand that was his fear talking. When he became ill, it put the family under financial stress amongst other things.

Later, everything was fine. He told her he didn't really want a divorce, he just wanted her to be free of this nightmare. Now he understood divorcing her wouldn't do any good because she would still pester him

Good luck to your mom and dad as they make this journey together.
Kathy
Diagnosed at age 47
DX: 12/13/07 IDC Stage IIa Grade 3 3.5 cm TN
Lumpectomy 1/30/08 SNB neg
Chemo-2/29/08: 4 A/C 4 Taxol-Done 6/6/08! NED!
33 Rads 7/7/08-8/20/08 Done!
12/10/09 Now Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Survivor!

Sadie Rose
  • Total Posts : 579
  • Reward points : 10345
  • Joined: 7/5/2010
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Saturday, October 25, 2008 6:39 PM
 
Hi Everybody,


Hope you are having a nice weekend. We are having beautiful weather here in the NW. It is going to be 70 tomorrow and the leaves are brilliant shades of red, orange and yellow. We have lots of maple trees.


I went out to help with my new grand babies. One of the girls nearly rolled over and they are cooing. The cutest thing was when my daughter put them on the floor with toys dangling above them. They were laying side by side, holding hands and grasping for toys. It was sooo sweet. I hope they are always best friends.


I came home and took a power nap. Now I have to get going and do some errands. I just wanted to see how your day went.


Warmly,
Sadie

Sadie Rose
  • Total Posts : 579
  • Reward points : 10345
  • Joined: 7/5/2010
RE: Daughter of a new patient - Monday, October 27, 2008 12:05 AM
I found these affirmations for healing in my reading today.  I thought I would share them.
 

Affirmations for Health

  • Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health


  • Loving myself heals my life. I nourish my mind, body and soul


  • My body heals quickly and easily

Change Page: << < ..21222324252627282930.. > | Showing page 21 of 68, messages 401 to 420 of 1341