concern about a friend's stories

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winn
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concern about a friend's stories - Saturday, February 08, 2014 9:13 AM
a year and a half ago a friend of mine became kind of famous for getting cancer. Soon after a famous TV personality released a tape of a comedy set she did where she told an audience of her diagnosis. She began making a lot of money and getting a ton of press. I was happy for her, but soon after I started to notice that she couldn't keep her stories straight. At first, I thought that she was so traumatized that her memory was impaired. Recently, I read a post by someone who seems to despise her, and in it, I saw that my friend was telling a reporter she had radiotherapy, when she told me she was fine just with natural remedies. She told another reporter that she was put on hormone blockers right after a double mastectomy. She never told me this though a few months back she told me she has to start on them. She never offers any detail other than she had cancer and a mastectomy. I don't feel comfortable confronting since I make my living in the comedy world...I never had cancer but I imagine I'd know my treatment if i did. This is freaking me out, and I'd like to hear what you guys think.

scootersmom
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Saturday, February 08, 2014 12:15 PM
Not sure what to say about this.   How close of a friend are you to her?  What I mean is are you passing acquaintances or does your friendship go over several years where there are no secrets from each other? It is possible that she had changed her mind about the natural remedies and became scared enough to do the conventional ones.  Not everyone is willing or able to explain all the details revolving around their diagnosis, treatment plan.

The fact that she is telling a reporter this information instead  of a friend is a little concerning.  Did she choose this method to bring attention to the cause or promote her career?  I know the question sounds harsh but as you said you thought her memory was impaired due to the differences in the stories.

If you are really, truly good besties, then ask her about the inconsistencies.  Tell her of your concerns and ask her what you can do for her if you are so inclined.  

I don't understand your comment about not being comfortable confronting her since you make your living in the comedy world part.  As long as the question isn't being raised while someone is on stage or in front of any audience, while a little uncomfortable, it shouldn't be dramatic.

If you still are not comfortable, then dismiss her statements and move forward.  
Tina    
dx 2/1/11 DCIS
Lumpectomy 2/27 results DCIS/LCIS Stage 0 ER+ PR+
Bi-lateral Mastectomy 4/26 with expanders 
6/3 Surgery to remove contaminated expander due to infection.
7/22/11 Surgery to reinsert the expander. 
10/11/2011 Surgery to replace tissue expanders with implants.
 
 




winn
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Saturday, February 08, 2014 2:35 PM
Thanks Tina. She's a friend, but we also are both comedians, and she is very connected. Frankly, she has displayed dishonesty in the past, and my gut tells me that she did not have cancer. She had told a bunch of us that she had stage 2 in both breasts, and that it had spread to the lymph nodes. Then, she said that the doctors laughed when they went in because she's fine and only has a 7 percent chance of every getting cancer. She made a boatload of money off this, and I feel really weird about it. My mouth dropped when I read an article where she told a reporter she had been sick from radiotherapy, when she never has been ill at all, and never mentioned anything but eating healthy as a treatment. about two months back she said she was going to begin hormone blockers, and then I heard a podcast -where she said that she had been on hormone blockers right after her surgery, a year and a half ago. She's not a bestie, and I think if I confronted her it would be bad because she's built a whole career, and made a lot of money... She claims that the audio tape made of a cancer set was downloaded 100 thousand times, and she made 5 dollars a download. Very stressful to face this. Thank you for the advice.

Tricia Keegan
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Saturday, February 08, 2014 6:11 PM
Hi, If all this is true maybe you should go public? for anyone to say this and pretend to have cancer is shocking and disrespectful to the people who suffer daily and do go through it all, I'd drop your "Friend" if I were you as she has major issue's if she can do this!
<message edited by Tricia Keegan on Saturday, February 08, 2014 6:12 PM>
Tricia Keegan...From Ireland Dx July '05 IDC 3/9 nodes pos..triple positive..a/c x 4..Taxol/herceptin x 12
Herceptin 1yr ..rads x35 oophorectomy Aug '06
Currently taking Arimidex /Zometa 1 x yearly
Carepage- survivortricia

winn
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Sunday, February 09, 2014 8:17 AM
Thanks Tricia. She was actually nominated for a Grammy this year, for best comedy album. I wanted to scream. The grammy was due to sympathy for her cancer, and her ability to manipulate some pretty famous folk. I do think it's time to lose her as a friend. Frankly, I'm scared of her,at this point. I've seen her slander people who say anything to challenge her. Show Biz can be brutal, so it's not a normal situation. Does anyone know who I should report this to? I want to do it in a way where I'm not immediately identified as the source.

scootersmom
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:06 AM
I agree with Tricia--There have been more articles lately of people claiming to have a life threatening disease just to obtain things that they cannot afford.  Most recently there was a woman who claimed to have stage 4 breast cancer.  There were fund raisers held to help her afford "experimental" treatment.  She used that money to buy a car, vacations, etc.  I think the total fundraising raised over $100,000.  Someone finally exposed her as a fraud.  This is a shame.  I hope she serves time helping in a hospice where she can see the true effects of cancer.


PS--definitely drop the "friend".  If you know her to be a dishonest person, you don't need to be around her supporting her lie.   

<message edited by scootersmom on Sunday, February 09, 2014 9:30 AM>
Tina    
dx 2/1/11 DCIS
Lumpectomy 2/27 results DCIS/LCIS Stage 0 ER+ PR+
Bi-lateral Mastectomy 4/26 with expanders 
6/3 Surgery to remove contaminated expander due to infection.
7/22/11 Surgery to reinsert the expander. 
10/11/2011 Surgery to replace tissue expanders with implants.
 
 




winn
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Monday, February 10, 2014 8:12 AM
Thanks to the both of you. She's made in excess of a million dollars so far... I think I'll get the guts up to confront her soon. GULP. Grateful she didn't win the Grammy and use that to further milk innocent people of their money.

karey
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Tuesday, February 11, 2014 9:28 PM
What your friend is doing is committing fraud and yes, it is not only morally wrong, it is a crime. Unfortunately this happens more than one might think.

A few years ago, there was a man in the Christian music industry who was caught doing this. He went so far as to even have people drop him off and pick him up outside of the hospital where he was supposedly having chemo treatment. I can't remember how he was caught but I think someone had stopped into see him and there was no record of him... 

At the time, I was a part of a blogging site and I would blog about my experiences with cancer and other health issues I have. I remember suddenly wondering if my readers might wonder about me. I was very glad that I'd had a number of people who came to see me during chemo treatments, a friend in addition to a couple of family members who'd gone with me to see my oncologist, have medical records from the clinic and hospital and so forth. 

Cancer is actually quite difficult to hide...unless you are a fraud, of course. 
Kathy
Diagnosed at age 47
DX: 12/13/07 IDC Stage IIa Grade 3 3.5 cm TN
Lumpectomy 1/30/08 SNB neg
Chemo-2/29/08: 4 A/C 4 Taxol-Done 6/6/08! NED!
33 Rads 7/7/08-8/20/08 Done!
12/10/09 Now Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Survivor!

Nuzzys Nana
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Tuesday, February 11, 2014 10:11 PM
Maybe you can convince a well known Tweeter or Blogger enough that they will want to dig further into this. TMZ anyone???????? Others have mentioned the fact that your "friend" may be using cancer as a way to get noticed, advance her career, or get money from sympathetic people. There have been many unscrupulous people who get publicity by announcing their child has cancer and no insurance etc. and they end up raising lots of money in this fraudulent way. If you think your friend fits this profile you should do what you can to expose the scheme.*****************Good luck!
Lumpectomy 4/14/05 at age 69
Stage 1, 2cm, Node Negative
Grade 3, Triple Negative
AC/Taxol, Radiation,
BRCA2 positive (It's always something!)
No Family History

winn
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Wednesday, February 12, 2014 11:39 AM
Thanks you guys. I was discussing this with a friend, and she told me to not get involved. She said that this women would blacklist me, and that she has three law firms working for her. I didn't believe it without seeing for myself. I some googling and learned she is currently being represented by two, or more lawfirms. Then, when I was feeling hopeless about this I found this, and this woman is discussing it but I don't know why. She doesn't look familiar. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yFKSu68pCU Wow. I doubt TMZ would be interested, but at least she can be maybe be prosecuted. Again, thanks for your advice and insight.

jillh
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Tuesday, November 22, 2016 11:42 PM
I am a survivor of many things, I won't let  breast cancer get  me either .
<message edited by jillh on Thursday, November 24, 2016 5:30 PM>

jillh
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Wednesday, November 23, 2016 12:42 AM
2 more surgeries to go .
<message edited by jillh on Thursday, November 24, 2016 5:32 PM>

jillh
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Re:concern about a friend's stories - Thursday, November 24, 2016 3:07 PM
and of the team recently walked in the 3Day in San Diego. They got there from Tampa on KOMEN'S DIME. Every year that they participated in the walk I was BEGGED to support them. I did so every year because of the cause by donating both my TIME AND MONEY to help them. I was diagnosed in July with an aggressive form of breast cancer and had a double mastectomy in August. I am still facing 2 MORE SURGERIES. They have BOTH BEEN WELL AWARE OF MY SITUATION since the onset. To date, I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM EITHER OF THEM.  They are both sports minded and in my opinion, their main interest in participating in 3Day walks is for the sport.  I have come to this conclusion after recalling many conversations I've had with them prior to my diagnosis. It is not their concern about breast cancer that draws them to do the 3Day walks, but rather trying to look heroic to others while participating in a self serving activity. Clearly, this is evidenced by their behavior towards others affected by this terrible disease. People who USE OTHERS to further their own selfish, self serving interests have no place in the Komen organization or elsewhere. They don't deserve the EXPENSIVE PERKS THAT KOMEN affords them. Please join me in writing to Komen in an effort to have them banned. Thank you.
 
<message edited by Komen Admin on Friday, January 06, 2017 8:04 AM>