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daughters cancer - Friday, August 21, 2015 4:13 PM
I just found out my 47 yr. Old daughter found cancer in 3 0f 5  lymph nodes after a mastectomy.
I am so wooried I dont know how to deal with this.
I want so bad to die first.
ty for leeting me vent.
any sugestions would be helpful.
Tricia Keegan

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Re:daughters cancer - Friday, August 21, 2015 5:03 PM

I'm sorry, but there are many of us here who had cancer in lots of nodes and far from dying we're all here still, living life to the full and hopefully for many years yet!  It's only when cancer moves to a main body organ or bones that it becomes stage iv and harder to treat, but even then many people do very well on and off chemo for many years and do manage it.

Your daughter's diagnosis is still classed as early stage, she will need to do chemo and possibly radiation depending on what surgery she has but otherwise she should be fine and once she's over this pick up her life where she left off. Thankfully with new drugs cancer is no longer a killer for many that it once was. I think these early weeks will be a blur for her and you, but once she has a full picture of what she's dealing with and a treatment plan in place she'll feel a lot better about this.  Please keep us posted and ask any questions you need to, also feel free to send me a private message if it helps, but while it will be upsetting for you to see your daughter go through these treatments, they're all do-able and we can help her, and you, get through it all. Pals
Tricia Keegan...From Ireland Dx July '05 IDC 3/9 nodes pos..triple positive..a/c x 4..Taxol/herceptin x 12
Herceptin 1yr ..rads x35 oophorectomy Aug '06
Currently taking Arimidex /Zometa 1 x yearly
Carepage- survivortricia
Nuzzys Nana

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Re:daughters cancer - Saturday, August 22, 2015 10:26 AM
I agree with Tricia. Today, having breast cancer is not a death sentence. In fact, a majority of people survive the disease. You will feel much better as you watch your daughter go through treatment, deal with it and thrive. Keep us posted.
Lumpectomy 4/14/05 at age 69
Stage 1, 2cm, Node Negative
Grade 3, Triple Negative
AC/Taxol, Radiation,
BRCA2 positive (It's always something!)
No Family History

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Re:daughters cancer - Monday, August 24, 2015 11:38 PM
I learned I might have cancer less than a week after my 47th birthday. It will be eight years on December 3rd. While I did not have any lymph node involvement, my tumor was grade 3 triple negative which means my prognosis was not the best. I have not had a child go through cancer but I have been the daughter who went through cancer and so I can speak from that perspective. Your post struck a chord with me because you see, I found that I actually had to distance myself a bit from my mother while I was in treatment and though it may be different for your daughter, perhaps sharing my reason with you might help. My mother, ever the optimist, would not allow me to share my fears with her. I suppose there are cancer survivors that do not want to talk about their fear and struggles but I suspect that more do than don't. What a lot of people do not understand is that cancer is a very scary, lonely place and those of us who battle cancer need to be able to talk about it. We need to be able to voice what we are thinking and feeling without someone trying to "fix" things. Our family and friends can't fix it but they can sit down beside us and hold our hand so we are not alone. They can let us do the talking and allow us to share our fears as well as our hopes and dreams. I think the best thing you can do for your daughter is to be her mom, the person to whom she can run to when she is afraid and upon whose shoulder she can cry on when necessary. As a mother myself, I know that is what our children need from us, no matter how old they are. They need us to be there for them. I have not had a child face cancer but my son, my only child, went through a divorce this year and it about killed me to watch him go through this. I knew however, that as difficult as it was, I had to set aside my own grief as much as possible and love, listen and even pray. I had to let him know that I was standing beside him, no matter what. Why? Because I am his mother. I am not saying you cannot grieve. You must and you will. However, you must also do what all good mothers do. You must focus on the needs of your daughter, even though your heart is breaking and be her mom.
Diagnosed at age 47
DX: 12/13/07 IDC Stage IIa Grade 3 3.5 cm TN
Lumpectomy 1/30/08 SNB neg
Chemo-2/29/08: 4 A/C 4 Taxol-Done 6/6/08! NED!
33 Rads 7/7/08-8/20/08 Done!
12/10/09 Now Ruptured Brain Aneurysm Survivor!

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